The Artist Within Me

A Note To My Angels

2011-11-23T14:32:00.001-05:00

I don't think people can really understand my sorrow if they
haven't lived this pain themselves.
When you have to say goodbye before you get to say hello.
Your heart is mystified and numbed with pain and you get to thinking,
"If tears could build a stairway,
And memories were a lane,
We would walk right up to heaven
To bring you down again."
But my little angels you were too beautiful for earth.
I want you both to know that,
The person I used to be would have been angry at everything,
The person I used to be would have asked God why don't you love me?
Have I done you wrong? Do I deserve this?
Now as the days pass, and the clock ticks, and my heart heals
I am learning to be grateful for the good and the bad in life.
I understand now this is a life experience that helps shape the mother I will some day be.

-Normis®

Life as it is

2011-09-27T10:30:00.000-04:00

The latest updates on my journey in life...

Update1

I recently ended up deciding that FB was no longersomething I was interested in. I understand that its a nice socialnetwork to keep in touch with loved ones, but is that the only meansof keeping in touch? I mean there is so much technology out todaythat make the good old things we used to love seem so out of thisplanet. What ever happen to writing letter and mailing them to yourfriends, or picking up the phone to share good news or just to talkto someone. Have we become a society that is so concern with updatingour status every few hour that we forgotten how to talk to people.Its just become to much for me and I will be staying away from thesocial network propaganda for a while just keeping my old blog, whereI can let out all this words running loose in my brain.

Update 2

Most of you know that I am on life battle with mybody on what it wants and what I want. I have been battling with myselfabout how I feel about becoming a mother and the feelings are allover the place. I am currently undergoing fertility treatments tobecome pregnant, but have come to an overwhelming point where my bodymay have defeated me. I ended up in the ER yesterday because I amcurrently experiencing some really bad bleeding and horrible sideaffects to my fertility meds. All the struggle I am going through andthe results so far don't seem so promising. I feel like I am loosinghope and I wonder if maybe having my own children might not besomething meant for my journey in this life.

I mean I feel so annoyed with everything speciallymedical insurance greed and stupid people with very lousy opinionsabout infertility. I cant believe there is people out in the worldthat believe infertility is a chosen medical problem and the stupid oldnonsense that you shouldn’t be trying to have children if you can'tafford the fertility treatments!! Its just stupidity. I am not richand can't afford to be paying 15k-20k for ART procedures, but becauseI can't afford them that does not mean I would be a bad mother, letalone that I don’t deserve to have children because I can't pay thatamount money to try and be a mother. Its just plain old stupidity.The worst part is adoption too all the rules and nonsense involvedwith it. I mean you spending over 40k to adopt a child and you haveto meet a criteria that determines if you would be a fit parent ornot, base on your Income!!! How is this adoption when your prettymuch buying a kid and a chance at being a parent.

Update 3

The bright side of life is that my skills as anartist are growing and I am in process of setting up an onlineportfolio where you can purchase my art and knitted items. When you think about it at the end of the day life is not that bad, some have it worst. I am greatful to have everything I have.

YummY Tummy

2011-07-14T21:57:00.000-04:00

Today I decided to make some real yummy tummy food that's my thing for comfort food.
I want to share with you my home made BBQ sauce. I always make this when making slow cooked country style spare ribs my hubby just loves.

Things you will need:

For BBQ sauce:

2 garlic cloves
1 cup of ketchup
1 tablespoon of vinegar
4 tablespoons of brown sugar
8 tablespoons of worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons of honey
2 tablespoons of maple syrup
black pepper
hot sauce (choose the one u like best I can't tell you which I use, cant just give the whole secrete away!)

For Ribs:
I use country style spare ribs I buy 4 enough for 2people, but you can choose any other unseasoned ribs you like.
I don't measure when I season so I will give you ball park amount of what I use.
1 package of unsalted Sazon Goya the one with culantro y achoite
2 tablespoons of honey
2 tablespoons yellow muster
2 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons of cooking wine
pepper to your taste I use about 1teaspoon
1 teaspoon goya adobo (if you don't have adobo around you use seasoning salt has same thing as adobo salt,paprika,celery,black pepper)
1 dash of basil
2 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce

Now that we got that out the way :)

Put your all your BBQ sauce ingredient in a small non-stick pan
let it simmer for 20 min till it thickens in slow heat, mix with spoon every now and then. Let it stand for 10min before applying to ribs.

The Ribs you want to pre-season the night before or at least 4hours before you cook them.
Add the ribs to a container, Mix all the ingredient for the rib in the container, rub very well because you don't want the honey to be in just some of the ribs you want it all over. Cover and leave it over night or at least 4hr in the fridge (not the freezer my very smart friend did that to funny)
Now when you cook them, I use and indoor grill I have this really cool one my mom got me that u add water to reduce smoke works very well, but you can use a regular grill.
For the indoor grill use the use the highest setting on each side for 10min each cover with some tin foil just the top does not have to be perfect if some vapor escapes that's fine, then reduce to medium heat cook for 20min, then with your cooking brush, add the BBQ sauce in small amount about every 5min on each side do that about 4x that should be another 20min of cooking time.

For the outdoor grill the same applies as the indoor grill but you want to use a lower heat setting because the indoor grill does not get as hot as an outdoor grill so the slow cook method applies here.

Happy cookings let me know how it turnes out!

Quater of a Century

2011-07-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

It's been while since I last wrote something in this blog. A friend reminded me how much I enjoy writing all the randomness that comes to my mind when she decided to start her own blog Chipped Nail Polish I decided maybe it was time I get back to writing on my blog too. I had forgotten how much I love writing!

I was sitting down the other day thinking about my upcoming birthday, and all I could think was wow I am about to be a quarter of a century old. Made me laugh, cry and pretty much panic :D Not really I was actually thinking that in the last 2 years I have truly become much more in touch with the artist with in me. I have become much less afraid to show others my art. I have discover the power of meditation, laughter and just simply letting go of old baggage that was just holding me down. Overall as I went on to think I realized that every year as I age, I feel much happier with the women I am becoming, and I will embrace my age with laughter and happiness.

Happy Birthday to all the Leo's who are celebrating the joy of age with me :)

check out my friends blog Chipped Nail Polish

Something that Guides my spirit

2008-06-15T22:07:00.000-04:00

The whole Law of Attraction you know Quantum physics. I was thinking about getting down my thoughts and feelings and experiences surrounding the law of attraction and the power of manifesting. I allude to these things, but I’ve wanted to go a little deeper and explain where I am with these concepts.
I decided to express my feeling with you the reader.
I realized, I’d been alive for a number of years thinking the sorts of thoughts I think. There had to be forgiveness in there somewhere. Change is sometimes a slow process. What I needed to do, I realized, was focus on shifting my thoughts, not worry about whether or not the thoughts were shifting.
I was discovering "There is a spiritual solution to every problem" by Wayne W Dyer, so I leaned on God for support. When my thinking got too muddled, I asked the God to help me cut cords, to take from me my negative thoughts, my worries, the results of my worries. Ask and it is Given illuminated for me a set of spiritual concepts that have been around forever. I’d read about them in the secrete, although I understand why some people are put off by it.
When dealing with my own mind and body and experiences, I could accept the suggestion that physical ailments and challenges were drawn to me through my thinking, but I had a problem applying that concept to the larger world.
I don’t think abused people have attracted the abuse.
I was tripped up by this concept of “fault.” We’re a blame-based society in a lot of ways and I think as I explored the law of attraction, I went off track down this blame road that has nothing to do with the actual teachings.
I also wondered where the law of attraction left me as an artist. I wondered what it would mean for me to spend entire days examining and reliving past pains and failures. Would I inadvertently draw those experiences to me again?
I tossed these things around in my head. Then, last summer, I watched The Secret with my good friend.
The Secret had an infomercial quality to it - it was slick and presented the concepts in a simplistic almost non-spiritual way that left me sorta uneasy. But I agree with many things and tried to apply it to my everyday life but something about it was still missing to me. I think it's great that The Secret is so popular, and I'm glad so many people have made their way to these concepts through the Secret. Personally, however, I don’t like that when I talk about the law of attraction to people who aren't already into it, they think I mean The Secret.
So, if I don’t mean that, what do I mean?
The idea that thoughts influence the body works for me because I believe that separateness is an illusion. I believe in the interconnectedness of everything and everyone. I believe in the power of positive thinking because I know it works. I consistently feel my perceptions and experiences shift with my attitude and I know that (to a certain degree) I get back from the world what I put out.
A great example is my most recent events in my life. I would write love letter for months on to my soul-mate. Letter filled my positive thoughts of us, my love for him, and the feeling i need to express, and funny enough I still had not met this individual, but one day it happened I met him and it has been everything I put out to the universe. I also know that bad things happen for no good reason, that good people thinking loving thoughts doing loving things sometimes get very, very sick. I know that there are some things I can control and some things I can not.
I know that when I’m reaching for the better feelings, I often get stuck on anger.
I know that I am sometimes ill-tempered and foul-mouthed and stubborn. I can transform those emotions by playing an inspirational tape, some happy music or a simple prayer ( a conversion with a greater being and I), and asking for help. I can, but often, I don’t.
I know that sometimes I am given beautiful, amazing, wondrous things for no reason, even though I’ve been thinking the opposite.
I believe in the law of attraction but I also believe in instant redemption, and I also believe that sometimes things just happen.
I don’t believe in randomness.
I believe in karma but I don’t believe in judgment or punishment.
I know that it’s good to feel good.
We’re often taught that it’s good to feel bad. We’re taught it so much, in so many different ways, we start to believe it in a fundamental way. We’re scared to let go of it. It’s good and productive to be happy. Happy heals. Feel good, and good happens. So, I struggled with all of this for a while.
I’m comfortable with contradiction, I wanted to understand and make sense of things.
I found, through the secrete and "There is a spiritual solution to every problem" , an articles that pulled things together for me. Unfortunately, I can’t find it now to link to it, but there were two things within it that stood out to me as important. The first was the idea that there are other universal laws, that sometimes a thing happens because of one of these other laws. The other was the concept that the law of attraction is a power that the ego can’t access if the soul isn’t willing to go along. In other words, you can’t just sit around visualizing piles of money and poof, the money appears, if you’re not doing the soul work you are here to do.
Around this same time, I reacquainted myself with Buddhist concepts. At first, I thought that what Buddhism was describing stood in stark contrast to the law of attraction. Slowly, however, I began to realize that it did not. Slowly, ever so slowly, the wrinkles in my brain began to deepen just enough to allow a few glimpses of understanding and I saw that the core Buddhist principles are right in line with my beliefs. I have long surrounded myself with images of the Buddha because I find them reassuring and calming and beautiful. That’s where I lean, where I feel comfortable. The imagery of Buddhism is a natural fit for me.
I don’t think I’m going to manifest my fears by acknowledging them. I think by acknowledging them, I can let them go.
And in this way, Buddhism has helped me build my relationship with the law of attraction, which is not simple and not about judgment or victim-blaming, but is about turning toward gratitude and joy and tending the garden of my life so that the beauty that makes my heart sing grows larger and I am no longer owned by sadness or adrift in my life waiting for the good stuff to happen.
It’s about acknowledging the gift - this gift of life that contains suffering and pain but also abundance and deep, deep happiness that everyone can experience because we were born to experience it.

A very Important List

2008-06-14T15:58:00.000-04:00

The most destructive habit .... Worry
The greatest joy .... Giving
The greatest loss .... Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work .... Helping others
The ugliest personality trait .... Selfishness
The most endangered species .... Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource .... Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm" .... Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome .... Fear
The most effective sleeping pill .... Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease .... Excuses
The most powerful force in life .... Determination
The most dangerous pariah .... A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer .... The brain
The worst thing to be without .... Hope
The deadliest weapon ... The Tongue
The two most power-filled words .... "I Can"
The greatest asset .... Faith
The most worthless emotion .... Self- pity
The most beautiful attire .... SMILE!
The most prized possession .... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication .... Heart to Heart
The most contagious spirit .... Enthusiasm
The most important thing in life .... Love

-- author unknown

To Funny

2008-04-05T21:59:00.000-04:00

OMG do you need a good laugh today
GO LAUGH

Dont worry be Happy!

2008-03-09T15:29:00.000-04:00

On a beautiful Sunday like this you need to listen and watch a video that will brighten your day and maybe your life =)
Be Happy Here

Dating

2008-03-04T16:50:00.000-05:00

hmmm where to start with this blog lol..

I was thinking about Dating the whole day. I have had so many offer the past few days none of which really interest me. I mean I don't know but I have noticed that Spanish people don't date lol....I don't remember just dating I remember having a boyfriend but nothing just casual you know. I asked other Spanish girls I know and the are the same way they didn't date and don't still WTF is that all about... I remember when I was younger my mom would not even let us sleep over friends house let alone have a boyfriend. In Spanish culture I have notice that seeing a few guys is something view as a very negative thing to do..You are criticized as being easy, a flussy, well basically a slut...yet I notice American girls date all the time, one guy today another next week and it completely cool. What I am getting at is that for the very first time I have been single for a while now, and I feel like dating is a such an essential part of building a relationship with someone. I think parents in every culture in general should influence there kids to date first and see whats out there and learn about them self in the process in order to know what it is you really want in a partner.

I am a true believer in finding your soul mate, and that such thing does exist, but one can not expect for that person to come into our life's just like that. If you know a bit about the law of attraction you do know that everything that happened to us in life its because we created that situation, that outcome, we attract everything the good and bad things in our life's. So its up to you to create your soul mate, to take action in meeting that individual, cause let me tell you staying home and doing nothing is not gonna help you. You need to DATE see what out there, you never know one day you might just come across that perfect individual made just for YOU...........Okay enough of the gibberish for today.. but don't be shy drop me a line we might just hit it off.....lol SMILE

Think Coffee

2008-02-22T02:00:00.000-05:00

I love music I try to learn something new everyday. I log on and start looking for artist I heard of, or just love lol. My music choice varies and is not limited at all. I have developed this new thing going to coffee shops or lounges to see upcoming artist play live. its been pretty cool so far. I have to say I give the title to this Awesome coffee shop by NYU. " Think coffee" love that place, they have live artist on Thursday nights and its so loungie, you can sit read a book or play games, hang with friends and they don't tell anything about how many hours you been their.

"Think Coffee is an independently-owned cafe with a socially and environmentally conscious bent and a community-oriented mission." What I find to be so awesome about this place is that they serve, Fair Trade, shade-grown, organic coffee, Fair Trade organic teas, and local milk and ice cream fresh from the Hudson Valley. check them out this there website http://www.thinkcoffeenyc.com/ and this is there Myspace page were you find a list of upcoming events http://www.myspace.com/thinkcoffee